Monday, July 31, 2006

Sinus Laxative

... obtain a university degree
... your university degree
... real degrees, not fake ones, in one day.

Cognizant armada
... night-cradled
... under the wire
... separate from other men.

BEWARE: The fashion of newest creation verses the further is ejaculation.

Again… to your health, mint julep.
       - Desmond Tuttle

The whimsical style of Mr. Tuttle’s poetry has attracted an equal amount of praise and criticism. While his supporters find Mr. Tuttle’s work a literary flight of fancy, his detractors criticize the covert political message that runs deep in his verse. Nonetheless, Mr. Tuttle has seen several volumes of his work published in both solo form (via Goo and Plaay It Press) as well as part of a collection, the latest being Superhighway Typefaces, Selected Works from Cyperpoets & Network Junkies. Our publication is honored to feature "Sinus Laxative", an exclusive poem from Mr. Tuttle's oeuvre.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Water-Skier Pastoral

great waves
unveil seaweed
awash in cash

paradise stock
heating, baking
enjoying burning desires

your degree
advanced forte
wisdom selling point
       - Ugo Burroughs

Austrian-born Ugo Burroughs has been publishing his poems and prose for over a decade via his own imprint, New Thoughter Press. Ugo started writing poetry and poetic literature as a natural extension of his earlier career as a vocalist and song writer for the German progressive rock group, Eloy. When the band started moving away from their heavy metal and progressive rock direction, Ugo decided to strike out on his own as a script writer for various Berlin TV stations. It was during the long wait between assignments that Ugo started to develop his penchant for poetry. At first, his self-published books were distributed at local cafes and bookstores. But their popularity grew to point where he required a distributor to help disseminate his books all over Germany. Ugo takes care to develop his prose in German, English and Castilian Spanish.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Poetically Brainstorm

Try and miss this......................

Why be an average guy any longer
Separate yourself from other men
Be special with a special size

Now you can get the momentum ~ unbelievable big boom power in bed
Be strong and passionate ~ reach your asshole with your dick

Special invitation to join our circle of women
Trust me - it will be a great surprise for your girl
Believe me - there will be a big buzz about it very soon

Get it straight......................
       - Hobbies M. Jamal

Mr. Jamal brings a refreshingly gritty style of poetry to the literary world. Growing up the youngest of six children, Hobbies became interested in literature after being kicked off the basketball team in high school for missing too many practices. Mr. Jamal later admitted that he felt social pressure to play basketball, but never really had an interest in the sport. Hobbies inherited many of his treasured books, especially the works of Walter Mosley, from his eldest brother, who had been accidentally murdered as a by-stander to gang violence. Mr. Jamal has dedicated all of his writings to his eldest brother, including Hobbies’ first published collection Assassinate Bolshoi from Juicy Oregold Peaches Press.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Yao Yin Forest

Hello, wood terrapin
You have feelings of guilt and embarrassment?
  Don’t worry
poor have right to be happy.

How are you, wood frog?
Tired of that jerk you call a boss?
Maybe you are a diamond in the rough.

Hi, well-intentioned otter shrew,
Looking for perfect sex?
  The watch you’ve always wanted?
Take a look and see!

Hey, human
We give you what you need:
  well-emphasized system upgrade.
You’ll be surprised!
       - Hortense “Hotdog Wont” Jamison

Mr. Jamison (known to his friends and co-workers as “Hotdog Wont”) has lived most of his life in Minnesota working for various medical device manufacturing companies and blames the tedium of these jobs on his obsessive compulsive disorder for hot dogs... hence his nickname. But he also uses this time to focus on his poetry which (according to Mr. Jamison) is told to him during the brief moments where he is just about to fall asleep at work. It’s during this brief lapse that Mr. Jamison claims to hear voices speaking poetry to him. Mr. Jamison keeps a notebook with him at all times so he can write these messages down and has since become paranoid that the FBI is seeking to steal his notebook in order to find coded messages about clinical drug trials. Otherwise, Mr. Jamison has seen several of his poems published in various art and literature magazines around the Northeastern United States and Canada.

Friday, July 21, 2006


Estimated secs flip
           oxide blue
         oil painting
with a ground
          negrohead beech.

Typhoid horse shows
          as folly-snared
    church mouse
under the table.

Much admired
       motors proposed alliance
     with rohah
   for better future
      powder pane absenteeism.

Need some help understanding this?
 Pin a rose on your nose!
       - Darja Gremillion

Born in 1944 in Santa Monica, California, Ms. Gremillion would boast that she had never traveled further East than the Rocky Mountains. She started writing poetry in the late 1960s and often read her works on stage at rock and jazz concerts. Sometimes, bands would go on stage and start playing while she was reading... as a way to complement her work... but this only caused her distress as she felt her work was important enough to stand on its own and without musical accompaniment. During the mid-1970s, she stopped writing all together and didn't draft any new poems until she was diagnosed with cancer in the mid-1990s. After a difficult three year battle, Ms. Gremillion passed away in late 1997.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Stethoscope Stallion [haiku]

Santa Claus catholic
  Looking for medications
Your stocking stuffer

Penis Enlarge Patch
  Improves love making magic
Future whizzing stick

What? Girls don’t like you?
  You have mail from Elena!
Why are you waiting?

She wants better sex
  36 hours of love
The ground is shakin!!!
       - Ealasaid Nakayama

Mr. Nakayama’s father served in the Japanese military under Emperor Hirohito and was stationed at the Tokushima Prefecture in Japan for many decades before and after World War II. Mr. Nakayama's mother fled to Japan from Pakistan during the First Kashmir War (1948). The details about how they met remains a mystery to Mr. Nakayama, but he’s happy none-the-less. The entire family moved to Canada 1987, but Mr. Nakayama decided to return to the Tokushima Prefecture in 2005 where he continues to practice his painting and haiku. His featured haiku, “Stethoscope Stallion”, was first published in 2002 by an obscure Quebecois poetry magazine that catered to foreign nationals living in Canada.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Exclamation Hypnotism

Urgent! Important! Got a second?
Tell your boss that you quit!
Momentous note. You must to read.

            Gotta second for me? Weighty letter.
            Overwhelmingly important letter.
            Buy extra time and forget your fears…
            you can make delicious paella!

Serious note. You should to read.
Essentially important letter.
Want to cure yourself?
Give me 2 sec of ur time

            Urgent email! Overwhelmingly important email!
            Been saved lately? Don’t get left behind
            Urgent statement! You require to read.

Urgently to you! This is Aaron Neville
Thanks for 5 sec of ur time
       - Iestyn Coakley

Ms. Coakley (formerly Mr. Lee Warmer) no longer writes poetry as she converted to the Amish lifestyle and disappeared from the public eye about 12 years ago. It is believed that Ms. Coakley lives in Holmes County, Ohio, but this rumor has not been confirmed. Finding her work, as well as the work of her former identity, is truly a challenge among obscure poetry collectors. Our site gained permission to use “Exclamation Hypnotism” from Ms. Coakley’s parents who wish to remain anonymous.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Message Object

Taiwanese Nationals
with uylua.

Bad gtoki
pauper-born life.

Mowrah Butter
truck stop cellulose.
       - Abigail Stevenson

Mrs. Stevenson was born in Bolivia while her parents were active in the Peace Corps during the early 1960s. Even though she has grown up around the globe, she believes that Salina, Kansas is her true home. Mrs. Stevenson’s poetry has been published in various independent magazines around the United States and continues to enjoy working on barbed-wire sculptures. She believes that her poetry and sculptures reflect the duality of life's pain and confusion.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Forsake Feeling Heart

He rolled farther into the room.

   blowfish............. detest

He saw it near the door and rolled over to it.

   The saddest eyes............. are like handcuffs.

‘Cat’ then crawls as close to his mistresses as possible before expiring and killing one of said mistresses. He thought:

   There comes a point when the very discussion of pain becomes redundant.

The first time, I was in so much pain that it felt like someone had put me into hell from the knees down.

That was enough.
Take the matches, Paul.

............. Bend
       - Chauncey Livingston

Born in 1937 at the bottom of the socialite ladder, Chauncey Livingston grew up in Gateshead, England and started writing avant-garde spam poems as an escape from the harsh reality of war-torn England. He gained literary stature for his unconventional method of opening spam messages and searching for strings of seemingly nonsensical text. This remarkable talent earned Mr. Livingston an honorary degree in literature from the University of Northumbia at Newcastle in 1986. His influence on spam poetry still reverberates today and collections of his work are available at rare book dealers around the globe.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Do you want your girlfriend back?

  react like a narrator
or         an indicative felon.

Why seek?
       serve the bounds
  overcome wisdom selling point
         at       mid-world.

Restate the illustrious
       - Kuriko Yokota

Mr. Yokota traditionally writes poetry in haiku and tanka form. In 2002, he started writing poetry in English as per the encouragement of his friend and colleague, Ha Jin.

Monday, July 10, 2006


Sweet summer cherries
improves love together
[in] ad-lib deadlock.

Voting booth stitching
will help you to save
[on] quality meds and maidenhair.

Reach for it,
your compensatory holster,
[as] jet lovenest warned.
       - Schwanhild Pauls

Not much has been written about Mr. Pauls as he is often very difficult to contact due to his tendencies of communicating via hand-made postcards. Mr. Pauls’ poetry has been featured at several poetry readings and published in haute couture magazines in his native Switzerland. A collection of dozens of his hand-made postcards was compiled by Neo-Syriac Magazine in early 2006.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Hidden Gem

New and just in!
(A downright must see)

Be delighted with
  salad bar lanterns.

Feel pleasure from
  roughhouse no-nonsense.

Develop better relationships with
  thigh hesitations.

First thing tomorrow, this is going to explode!
       - Cornelius McCarthy

Growing up on Long Island, New York, Mr. McCarthy has been writing poetry since the early 1980s but has slowed down considerably since 2001. His earlier works were short bursts of graffiti on buildings around the Chelsea Piers in New York City. It wasn’t until 1991 that Mr. McCarthy was approached by Nick-Eared Magazine to collect as many of these images as possible for publication. Since then, Mr. McCarthy has seen a brief volume of poems and short stories published by Berlin’s Sarua Publishing Haus.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Polarize Coal

On Sazuc
   Guess what I saw:
      Cash, shroving time

On Jauih
   Guess what I heard:
      Success, wax ended

With Luhiu
         I found filthy eratosthenes rhodolite.

With Naiia
         I have antiquity adulterate.

To Nofad:
Find that perfect timepiece performed under the radar.

To Daaer:
May her pennies profile the return in non-negritic needle furze.
       - Coty Muench

Born to career military parents, Ms. Muench has spent most of her life traveling. As a result, her poems and short theater sketches often include dialects and dialogues in several languages. In 1976, Ms. Miench started working on creating her own language but later joined the Esperanto movement in 1978. Her “Polarized Coal” poem is an example of her polyglot tendencies.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

The Sad Truth

Handsome looks and riches
don’t matter
without adequate manhood.
       - Shonda Farish

Mrs. Farish is a native of New Orleans but moved away in 2005 due to the flooding caused by the levee system failures. She has been composing poems and Dixieland-style songs from spam since 1987 but refuses to write anything new until she is allowed to return home. “The Sad Truth” was one of her last poems and was written while riding on a bus carrying members of her church parish away from New Orleans during the evacuation.

Monday, July 03, 2006

Conversation on an Empty Telephone

Want to please your woman?
How are you guys?
Need some help?
       - Abisai Martel

Ms. Martel was born in 1942 in Denmark. Her parents were born in South Africa and moved to Denmark in the late 1930s where they now own several small tourist shops around Kiel. Ms. Martel has been writing poetry since 1988 and has won several competitions around Europe for her work. Her featured poem “Conversations on an Empty Telephone” is her most recognized piece, but it’s also her shortest. She is currently working on an epic length poem describing the terrors of the Hobbes Rebellion of 1498 where religious factions and slave traders clashed at the Port of Esbjerg.