Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Remorseful Gelding Funeral

Hello, I want you to know
  I’m going to show you this, but keep it secret!
   Whatever you do .. keep this on the lowdown!
    You ready?
   We aided bin Laden escape.
  We know what you want
Sadam Hussein safe and sound!

Basically, this is it:

Undeliverable so-called ballerina
Inserts devoted antivirus menu
  by asynchronous
  on a barium
  by rivulet
  on go barter,
  to bart as Cauchy
  or in saloonkeep
  as opposite
  giving danger
  to life.
Finding a extremely worthy chance to earn
  with ding
  in major to prosaic scowl skirmish.

Got it?

A person with impaired postmortem extralinguistic sophism…
  so scapular of monetarism…
  tests negligent homicide categories,
  quickstep continuity,
  and Wellington
  so revenge implied combat losses punch line.

A final toast:

The so uphold ultrasonic radiation euphoria
  Be so occurring
  Go as notwithstanding
  Now interpellatio
  And calkins of chromosphere
  As Walden in usurp
  And twigging is macro.

Good day.
       - Raimjanov Umid

Born in Southern Iran during the Persian Zand dynasty, later inspired to move to France during the Age of Enlightenment after reading Montesquieu’s Lettres Persanes (and presuming it was a work of non-fiction) Raimjanov Umid (1751-1804) - international star of letters, known as the Sultan of Salons, and just one of the many hundreds of famous people who suffered from coccydynia. The endemic disease about which no one knew more that Dr. G.L. Buffon – naturalist, mathematician, cosmetologist and selfless fighter against human suffering; whose mail box was the one above the man responsible for the foundation for our poem today – Pierre Bayle. A pious Christian philosopher who’s daughter, if not for her courage, foresight and understanding enabled the rising bourgeoisie to probe beneath the sophisticated veneer of the Ancien Régime and learn the true history of Baron d'Holbach - encyclopedist, chiropodist, voyeur; the man of whom the chairman of the Polish Constitution once said, “Er verdankt mir eine Menge Geld!” and whose telescope was bought from the shop part-owned by a man who, at the age of eight, stole a quill from the servant of Denis Diderot’s brother's housekeeper's dental assistant’s uncle – the reverend Johann Gottfried von Herder, the cleft-palated poet, critic, and theologian who – in 1773 – published a collection of folk songs. This poem was dedicated to the men who originally wrote those songs.

Monday, January 22, 2007

Carthage and Fusion

She would yet make amends
croaking and complaining
the harvest was late
there stood a strange dog
by the wire fence that circled the haystack
a row of red winged girls
clad only in a cause
thin bit of the weekend and of the fright
together shared

To search a muslin
which a pamphlet scarce covered

Blur of homesickness
of many pleasant evenings
the wind sang dismally
sickened blackbirds
like a string of jet beads
waiting for oat structure

She served dinner to a long line of stoppers
she was Lys, and she was
teaching brute spacecraft
along the danger-infested way
known as the Red River frame
and the corners

The guests at table were a typical pioneer group
a joiner at each side
machine men journeying through the country
loudly recommending and gesticulating
forced to take to dairy products
to crab trees
to escape the clutches --

So spent in her little shack
with the same wind making eerie music
of the boys she had not seen
since the winter before
and while she finished the fashion called saddle
she discussed neighborhood matters with them --
the pleasing
see sex unharmed

A huge brute
just the litter bin --
and his foot reached the cliffs when --

Yesterday and today were separated by a gulf
a sizzle of eggs
frying on a hot pan
making a running accompaniment

Whatever can be done to a house
to spoil its appearance
had been done to her words
wide as death itself

She was so close
to selling machinery
to harvesting grain
not yet grown
       - Esme Horseman

The wife of York, who was the life-long Negro servant of Second Lieutenant William Clark, Esme Horseman (1779-1862) was born in the town of Ajaccio on Corsica, France. When she was eight, her family moved to La Nouvelle-Orléans and became successful feather merchants with offices and a warehouse at the Poydras Street Wharf. When York and Esme married, they took her family’s name, du Cheval de Homme, as York never had a proper surname. Upon Mrs. Horseman's death in Louisville, KY, the doctor attending her anglicized the last name for reasons unknown. Her short stories, principles of accounting standards, and poetry were published postmortem by friends of the family with most of her work is attributed to the anglicized version of her name. However, there have been reports of collections published with her original name, making the hunt for her work challenging. Our spoem today was first published in 1906 in the book (I’ll Follow You) To the Ends of the Earth: Prose by the Woman Who Married the Slave-Guy Who Followed the Two Guys Who Explored the Louisiana Purchase in a Canoe, courtesy of The National Council of the Lewis and Clark Bicentennial.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Smelly Tea Party... ...don’t read it, believe it!

Scene One
Big breasted strawberry chinchilla enlisted Yangtze Carpetbagger with the veronal strawberry-blond carpet tack to proust the postman.

Scene Two
Combat committed handbags (happy or sad) have midsection by communal flatulent unhappily perishable. Mean-spirited cheese wheel airplane accessory skeptically may or may not be an alien.

Scene Three
Mandatory marksman admiring the standard swimming trunks with an option for lame amplitude fern if function refinance approved. Espadrille accounting separation accommodated, slowly by wedge, Waist Skirts Miuccia Exhibition.

Scene Four
By vestibule, the salubrious worldwide critic allowed the text rocket rocketdog rockin rocking the variety… almost actually killing Ella. Sucks, huh?

Scene Five
So the tyrannosaurus just remembered my pulp bait convenience store capitulation. This, despite a well-documented hospital examination of the child.

Scene Six & Seven, Eight, Nine
Overdrawn propose is the ability found everywhere as churchillian brown circle cyberhype cyborg. My rabbit prompting secretion saw it all. All details are there powerhouse. A powerhouse to bookstore.

Scene Ten
Casanova Shopgirl looking good in confiscatory of Nostradamus. If you’re shopping for a gift card this holiday season, let age purge and derail important aqueduct mother. More important, here's what I was telling you about... your food cravings can be combated under the money-moon.

Scene Eleven
The look of a continued use - you agree - will impress your girl with exculpatio. She’ll love your springtime bondage objects. See for yourself. Let’s go check it out. Let’s talk. Let’s keep in touch.

Scene Twelve
My soup. My fence. Mycenaea. Well, duh, of course I picked the option that makes me feel more full.

Scene Thirteen
Charmed burning oversized ashes of roses are, in my experience, awfully hard to clean up.
       - Desaster Osamu

For several generations, the family of Desaster Osamu (1527 – 1590) made their fortunes in Safavid Persia specializing in calligraphy. The family moved to the Kingdom of Poland of the Jagiellons in 1533 and found employment with the emerging bookmaking and typography industry. When Osamu turned 13, he started an apprenticeship at Fust & Schoeffer’s printing house in Mainz and quickly excelled at the art of moveable type and oil-based ink printing. Between 1559 and 1579, Osamu (having graduated to master printer at Fust & Schoeffer) crafted a five-volume collection of his stories, plays, poetry, and his family’s role in the history of Persian calligraphy. 111 copies of this collection, entitled An Eclecticism Subservience, were produced and immediately received accolades for its craftsmanship. The covers were made of red Moroccan leather tooled with inlaid designs by Léon Davent and gilded with 22 karat gold. The end pages featured iconic designs created by practitioners of the Novgorod School in Russia. The books used a typeface developed by Conrad Sweynheim and Arnold Pannartz, at Subiaco, Italy (circa 1465). The paper used for all five volumes (milled at the Duszniki Paper Mill in Poland) utilized a special blend of wood pulp with vegetable fibre to create a vellum-like texture. The first two volumes of An Eclecticism Subservience featured an ink blended from dried hawthorn branches, soot, and turpentine while the ink for the last three volumes utilized walnut oil instead of dried hawthorn branches to allow for superior printing results. Nearly all of the 57 full-page illustrations that are scattered throughout the five-volume set were created by Federico Barocci. In fact, Barocci’s original “Madonna in the Clouds” and “The Annunciation” first appeared in volume four of An Eclecticism Subservience. Each set was signed and stamped by all members of the bookmaking staff and each set cost 2,112 guilders (over $10,610 by today’s conversion). Several copies were immediately purchased by the Holy See and can be viewed today by special appointment. Desaster Osamu died in his own house on a Thursday morning before breakfast, 20th of December, 1590 CE.

Monday, January 15, 2007

He Monday or Vesper

carefully about. So
be marlowe of vertebral
       my proponent he wah
       my cella just gone fricken.

page under

fashion or chairs?

The standard
washroom dealing savior
       implemented suffering
crucified double negative

Moronic alchemist's
       shocks with the veronal
              wool pomposity.

Mown communion
relinquishes that
oceans go
spectacularly dapper,
       - Morozov Alexandre

Russian mathematician Morozov Alexandre (1857 – 1918) graduated from Saint Petersburg State University (hic tuta perennat) specializing in advanced indiscrete mathematics. His life’s work followed closely that of Omar Khayyám in that he passionately pursued mysticism, mathematics, and poetry. In regards to mathematics, Alexandre developed the Discrepancy Principle which has been used as a general criterion to compute the regularization parameter in inverse problems. Historians have noted that Alexandre’s relentless pursuit of addressing inverse numbers stems from his acute hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia. Morozov Alexandre was a master at weaving his interests into a singular work. At times, he would draft abstracts of his mathematical dissertations into poetic meter that playfully mocked the pantheism of Fyodor Tyutchev or the romanticism of Alexander Pushkin. The best example of his talents can be found in his paper, “On the Solution of Functional Daymare Equations by the Method of Iao Chant Regularization”. Original copies of this document command thousands of dollars at auction houses around Europe. Morozov Alexandre’s fate took a turn for the worse when he crossed paths with Grigori Rasputin in 1899 over a cryptanalysis concerning text found in the Forest of the Megalomaniac written in Gematria. Following this “disagreement”, Morozov Alexandre was sent into exile on June 28, 1911 and lived the remainder of his life on the outskirts of the Ottoman Empire.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Sunless Funicular

Fanaticism: a scar nobly got or a noble royal?

Tell me Nipple Slip Pam,
(my dear friend, please be discreet),
   about the Njave Oil Necklace Tree;
       how’s it look?

She spaced and said, “Golden pine trees grew that same year was the standard for costly capitalist splinters.”

That pottery roustabout!
Always changing our delicious found valley!  Oft poems songs for you:

     Out of parish birth
     Into wedded disorder
     Resulting steps
     Burn onto evening.

She pointed and said, "Astounding... twofinger sentenced education reveals internal recapitulation magically. No?"
       - Narendra Winegarden

Occupying a prominent position in the scientific community of Edinburgh, Narendra Winegarden (1797-1866) was a trained chemist who for years engaged in scatological research at St. Bartholomew's Hospital. Her scientific background involved attending notable lectures by Vauquelin and Thenard on chemistry and of Orfila on toxicology. On scatology in particular, Dr. Winegarden quickly became an authority with her treatise, The Species of Feces. Published initially in 1829 and again in 1835, it was characterized as “virtuosity to urinary” and secured Dr. Winegarden within the literary circles of medical jurisprudence. In 1858, Dr. Winegarden protracted an illness, though happily short-lived, that cut short her work in the field of scatology but opened her interests in crafting poetry. Her colleague, Sir Robert Christison, published the final edition of his famous Dispensatory in 1862 that included updates of Dr. Winegarden’s scatological materia medica (entitled The Fecal Didactic) as well as a scattering of her poetry. As one biographer of Winegarden has stated, “I have always imagined that paradise will be a kind of library with profound scat.” A complete collection of Dr. Winegarden’s work is expected to be published by the Classics of Medicine Library in 2008.

Monday, January 08, 2007

Hallow Crystal Banquett

Irish redux
against wall
just might
looking at gay or
crazy stuff
be respected
to hierarchy.

Funny thing...
your letter had page found
  of lotus and no wadsworth
  of quantify he chrysanthemum
  of crash on time or late
  of beginner gibraltar infantrymen.

You is feathery
  is chancy an carusa
  is septa in desorption
  is as coloratura breakwater chessboard...
  is the correct or no?

didn’t understand it.

Consensus this: In addition, it's getting increasingly difficult for me to give up my mother language.
       - Kiribati E. Ethelred

Named by her father, Louis Isidore Duperrey, upon his return from exploring the South Pacific Islands, Mrs. Kiribati E. Ethelred née Duperrey (1816–1885) received her formal education in geology from the Université de Provence Aix-Marseille. She graduated with top rankings in 1840 and worked alongside Swiss geologist Albert Heim (whose work would later influence Alfred Lothar Wegener) on the field work and microscopic study of Mesozoic and Paleogene/Neogene sediments in the Helvetic zone of the Alps (including the famous Glarus overthrust). The research life, however, did not hold Mrs. Ethelred’s interest for long as she frequently disappeared into Heim’s basement to read novels (especially those by François-René de Chateaubriand ~ whose father was also a sea captain) and write short stories and poems. Of her œuvre, there are two pieces that stand out as her greatest contributions to literature. The first is her poem “Voix ambiguë d'un cœur qui au zéphyr préfère les jattes de kiwis”, as it is known and loved by nearly all French students of typography and font development. The second, “Cantami o diva del pelide Achille l'ira funesta”, not only remains the longest running commedia at the Nebiolo in Torino, but also carries the mystique of being dedicated to her secret lover in the Aosta Valley.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Occult Climate

A calm inhuman quasiorder
orchestrates steep deep sneers.
The haiku patrol resurrects a rare ache,
a barbarian parboils the boatyard liturgy,
and cavemen titrate their pokerfaces.
The cryogenic spy and the inexpert cartographer
conjugate insufferable fur cantos.
A cowpoke codebreaks the corset barbecue,
starlight contorts contrite gravestones,
and the lovelorn gangster cheerleads droll keyholes.
A ghoul adulates fictive bisexual fingerprints.
The carload of liars obstructs the sepulchral brainstorm,
a locksmith abducts a vast peaceable proton,
and the debonair conquistador razes a thunderclap.
       - Christopher Toll

A religious and pious gentleman, Christopher Toll (1747-1819), along with Samuel Hopkins and members of the Religious Society of Friends, helped settle the area now known as Crofton, Maryland. Toll’s parentage arrived in the new world from Pureland, Norway during the 1730s. Despite having little educational background, Toll’s work ethic and vast linguistic atlas earned him the respect of those around him. The children of his best friend, Samuel Hopkins, adopted Toll as their uncle and would often chat with Toll about literature, religion and business affairs... sometimes all at once as exemplified by our posting today. Mr. Toll’s best pupil was the second oldest of the 11 Hopkins children, nicknamed "Johnsie". Several decades after Toll’s death, Johnsie arranged for the publication of short stories and poems by Toll under the title Adapt The Best Loved Permanent Professor Under My Sonnet Kitty.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Sludge Earthquakes

Spartan las
died shaking fists calling
"Is this as good to you as it is to me?"
The I of veritable
didn't understand it.
acting behalf
to you
replace explicit
glimmering headboard.

Glimmering headboard
your necromantic
to he typify my neurosi
as church choirs chid
shiny laptop African housemates.

African housemates
swung the seen taxi
at warning stuff so routine like
your wallet with
infused extra thyme risotto.

Thyme risotto,
your squalo parish limits these long time
suffocatio from other -maybe- ace sear.
My dear Mafioso Cleopatra,
correct me if I’m wrong;
Instead we should work out amongst ourselves what makes sense to implementin a
Spartan las.
       - Wojtek Tauber

Starting at the end, Chief Petty Officer Tauber (1915–1951) died in service for the Royal Navy during an arctic expedition to the Ayles Ice Shelf. His expedition to the Artic North involved the search for Rhan-Tegoth (He of the Ivory Throne), who is believed to have dwelled there 2 to 3 million years ago. CPO Tauber learned of the Rhan-Tegoth during World War II while assigned to a special division of the Royal Navy developed in the early days of the German advance. CPO Tauber was given the assignment of deciphering Stanislaus Hinterstoisser's magnum opus on the occult, Prolegomena zu Einer Geschichte der Magie. It was thought that knowledge from this book would help the Allies in countering the German’s research on Friedrich von Junzt’s magnum opus, Unaussprechlichen Kulten. Debate continues on the true effectiveness of either party’s advances in the circles of magick. However, it was during this time that CPO Tauber began his second life composing poemas obscura. As a youth, CPO Tauber enjoyed mountain climbing and would often scale the Bernese Oberland with little, if any, equipment. This is why his death during the Ayles Ice Shelf expedition remains a controversial mystery.