Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Personalized Letters from Santa

Revolutionary mortgage concept:
Can you be hypnotized?
Caution!!   You will be approved!

(No embarrassment
)


Prepare to be amazed!
You've been granted access!
Follow these instructions very carefully!

Your cat      Friends on the inside
inks      cash out
romance      your cat
sample from      facials.
new apple
lingerie       Exclusive
cards.       aromatic
      green tea science
Professional       health
wild girls       cards
feature       pampered
slots, the book!       your cat
      professional.
Golden egg
development       Your doctor
reports       inks
chocolate       normal sexual life
North Pole       success
incentive       stimulation.
results.
      Amazing Fly Monkey
      shamanism
      development
      makes your life better with
      stocking stuffers
      creating coffee connoisseurs for decades.

The machines are never complaining prisoners subjected to daily humiliations that were the computers.
       - Stiofa Cervantes

GOD bless me gentle (or it may be plebeian) reader… how eagerly must thou be looking forward to this biography, expecting to find here my scolding and abuse against the illegitimate great-granddaughter of a certain “sword-wielding fugitive from justice” — I mean she who was, they say, begotten at Tordesillas and born at Tarragona. Well then, the truth is Stiofa Cervantes (December 9, 1806 – December 16, 1857) never quite achieved the fame and notoriety as her surname should have bequeathed. Yet, I am not going to give thee the satisfaction of ridicule; for thou wouldst have me call her ass, fool, and mahout, but I have no such intention. If her wounds have no beauty to the beholder's eye, they are, at least, honourable in the estimation of those who know where they were received; for the soldier shows to greater advantage dead in battle than alive in flight. I wonder at her unrecognized genius and admire her works and unceasing, strenuous industry; for I know well what the temptations of the devil are. The poor man may retain honour, but not the vicious; poverty may cast a cloud over nobility, but cannot hide it altogether. Thou needst say no more of her, nor will I say anything more to thee, save to tell thee to bear in mind that this selection of poetry which I offer thee is cut by the same craft and cloth as Stiofa Cervantes’ greatest achievements. While she at length dead and buried, so that no one may dare to bring forward any further evidence against her, for that already produced is sufficient; and suffice it, too, that some reputable person should have given an account of all these shrewd lunacies of her without going into the matter again; for abundance, even of good things, prevents them from being valued; and scarcity, even in the case of what is bad, confers a certain value. To thee I leave this final footnote; Stiofa was felled by an earthquake while vacationing in Naples during her birthday celebration. A greater tragedy none could dream.


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4 Comments:

Blogger barb michelen said...

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5:30 PM  
Blogger Morton Hurley said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

7:16 AM  
Blogger Morton Hurley said...

About our random tryst of responsible hedonism... I couldn't even get on the f...ing bed sandman.

At first I didn't know what to think! Symptoms of a sildenafil overdose are not known, but are likely to include chest pain, dizziness, an irregular heartbeat, and swelling of the ankles or legs. aND THEN i REMEMBERED: You don't need to worry if you have no time to visit chemists.

I must go as I have Five messages from ladies: here they are

7:30 AM  
Blogger sarah said...

I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.

Sarah

http://www.thetreadmillguide.com

12:07 AM  

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