Monday, November 13, 2006

Emergency Spanking Foundation

Canker sore gradation
already on anticipation
foresaw confederation
of impoverished phony temptation.

Spud left-handed
access just updated
diligently demented
nouveau paranoia noted.

Investment strategy
carefree tendency
Nothing says anatomy unbearably
like blue palm snobbery.

Ignominiously sloughing
especially crafted battles featuring
up-and-coming enhanced libido gaining
stronger ejaculation (watch where your aiming).
       - Colleen Timotheus

Ms. Timotheus was born on December 1, 1947 in Hastings, England. Her family had fled from Naples, Italy to England during World War II but didn’t bother to assimilate into English society. Thus, the young Colleen had a difficult time with her studies and ultimately dropped out of school. Feeling disappointed with her path, Ms. Timotheus decided to study English on her own and by the time she was 19, had drafted a critical essay on Alexander Pope (entitled “Pope on a Rope”) which gained her admission to Trinity College, Cambridge. Ms. Timotheus has received several nominations for her literary work along with several collections published in Europe, yet has remained obscured in the United States.

Thursday, November 09, 2006


what would your family do if you died?
Allow us to show you our quality operation
see the fish come alive!
mature lesbians rubbing their armpits
why arent you watershed goblet
if pizza be the food of love
i can hardly feel the device under my pants
Find that special someone!
Tooth whitening of the stars
With exclusive peeing Belgian girls
if you don't wish to receive these offers, go here
       - Don Hertzfeldt

these spoems were composed by mr. hertzfeldt in 2004 and are an example of his finest, most illuminating work. according to mr. hertzfeldt, “i know nothing about computers. mine is a little glowing magic box. don use rock and stick. fire bad.” mr. hertzfeldt spends his days (and many late, late nights) watching grass grow.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Punks Sweary

new natural nutritious detention notification needed neigh automation news released
our once olive drab one-track mind credibility outsmarting oratorical oxygen gild
pearl-besprinkled pink leather prison persuading nonunion processional pope protocol.
       - Ellenor Bland

Mrs. Bland runs a clothes shop in Wootton Bassett, Wilts. She lives in the village of Quemerford and has been a Calne town councillor since 2003. She has enjoyed writing various forms of poetry with her preferred subject matter being the plight of the new Britons. Until recently, Mrs. Bland stood as a prospective parliamentary candidate in Swansea East at last year's general election in the United Kingdom. However, Mrs. Bland has run into a bit of trouble with her latest opus and has mysteriously disappeared from the literary groups she regularly frequented. Her featured poem, "Punks Sweary" was received prior to her recent developments and is exclusive to this site.

Friday, November 03, 2006

To whom it may concern..

million Americans
and his wife
recreate top secret
customary witch hunt
Wanna check it out?

Americans do not
take pleasure from
Zealot Visionaries
knitting bactria yardsticks

American man,
Please fill the form below
Think about your new life ahead
Secretly visualize
   Better future, yarn-inspector
   Better life, world building
   Better success, wit-assailing

Any thoughts sailor?
       - Oka TaiLee

When Mr. TaiLee died last year, he left behind an impressive amount of unpublished work rumored to be worth tens of thousands of dollars. While most of his work centered on his folksy roots from growing up near the Florida Everglades, there were several poems (presumably drafted in the later part of his life) that revealed a scathing, bitter underbellow of resentment and frustration. The estate of Mr. TaiLee has been reluctant to publish these works for fear of damaging his reputation, however academics and fans alike have clamored for a glimpse into this new facet of a truly American poetic genius and our site is privileged to feature “To whom it may concern..” exclusively.